As a teenager, I listened to a lot of techno because, you know, the 90s.

Come to think of it, I really didn’t listen to a wide variety of techno, I just listened to one artist a lot. And that artist was Robert Miles. Talk about great music! All the wonderful nt tz nt tz nt tz’s you could handle. But this post isn’t about Robert Miles. (listen to more of his wonderful music here if you’re interested) It’s about the lyrics to his song ‘One & One’. Mind you, I didn’t care one lick about the lyrics when I was a teenager, but as I said, I listened to it A LOT, so those lyrics got trapped somewhere in my head regardless of my appreciation for them.

And somewhere in the back of my head is where they would have stayed except for a great class I’m taking with my wife right now on how to be better spouses and parents. The title of this particular lesson was ‘Developing Unity in Marriage’.

Side note – the day before we took that class, I baked a cake. Specifically, I baked the second cake of my life.

So here I was, learning about how to be a better husband, thinking longingly about that amazing cake that I had just made, and the instructor gets up and asks us this: “How can 1 + 1 = 1?” Suddenly, it was like a lightning struck my brain, lots of things clicked into place as I thought about the relationship that my wife and I have.

When making a delicious cake, you need eggs, flour, sugar… um… milk?… Please remember, it was only my second cake. So you need lots of ingredients, but here’s the thing: you’re only making ONE cake. The word ‘marriage’ is like the word ‘cake’! Marriage is a thing that involves the combining of lots of different ingredients (brought into it by two very different people). As long as the ingredients are properly proportioned, you get something delicious wonderful!

An important thing I realized is that the ingredients are ‘properly’ proportioned, not ‘equally’ proportioned. When it comes to the ingredient titled “Patience With Children When They Are Being Annoying”. That ingredient is like the flour – you need lots and lots of it. Thankfully, my wife happens to have plenty of that one. However, you’ll also need the ingredient titled “Middle School Mathematics – How to Find the Slope of a Line”. This ingredient is like the baking soda. Still important for our marriage, but not needed nearly as much as some of the other ones. And I can help add that one when needed.

These different ingredients that we bring are accumulated throughout our entire life. Even the things we don’t think will be of any use are almost always helpful if we are just creative about them. Helping to bake a cake, but all you brought is Miracle Whip? Try this out!

Marriage is a tricky thing to work out. It’s hard to be with this creature who is so different from you, and yet shares so much in common with you. This was a lesson that made me understand a little bit more about those differences.
Cake = Marriage
Ingredients = Habits, Strengths
No single ingredient is more important than any other. It takes all of them combined to create something beautiful.